Singledom tagged posts

Whilst it's not fair to put people into boxes or analyse the number of kisses at the end of text messages, that's not to say that there aren't certain things we all do when we fancy someone. Subconscious things that we do, that most of us don't realise that we're doing until it's pointed out to us. Even then, we can't always control them. There are exceptions to the rule - other reasons these things might occur - so don't think that just because someone's pupils are dilated they want to see you naked: several of these cues and they just might, but one isn't enough to say for certain.Read On...

On the eve of my thirtieth birthday, my younger sister turned to me and said, "I'm going to ask you the same thing I ask all my friends who are turning thirty. Are you where you thought you would be at this age?"

Short answer: No.

If you had asked half a lifetime ago about my future plans, my answer would have been fairly typical: Go to college where I'd meet a man, get married, have a couple kids. Own a house. It all seemed grand and dream-like. But fifteen years later, I was still single and living with my parents.

Here's the clincher: I'm not bothered by it.Read On...

Why does society have the insatiable desire to label us as either “married” or “single”?  Sometimes they’ll let you be divorced or widowed, but beyond that, they don’t like it.

When I applied for Job Seeker’s Allowance, at one point it asked me if I was living with a partner.  I said yes.  A couple of pages later, it asked me for my marital status. There was no option for cohabitation.

This was a form that even had an option for civil partnerships, but there was nothing for someone who showed enough commitment to their partner to live with them, but not enough to blow £10,000+ on a wedding.  There wasn’t even an “engaged” option...

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“How old are you?” I blink, finding myself confronted by a man in his mid-seventies. His white nostril hair sticks out and his eyes are wide, his wife standing next to him with an overly powdered face smiling politely. He doesn’t think it’s rude to ask my age because I am still too young for it to matter. After a pause, I smile, telling them I’m 21.

“Why aren’t you married? My wife was nineteen when I married her.” I wonder how they know I’m not married. The concept of wearing rings struck me as being similar to “for sale” signs outside houses. I also noticed he didn’t say when we got married or when she married me, as though her role was entirely passive.

I decide to be polite and play the game a little – I was at work after all...

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Before I start this post, let me explain why I’m qualified to write this post: I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and, prior to that, I was single for nineteen and a half.  I got used to being single.  It took someone pretty special to get me out of that.  I liked my independence.  I liked being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and not feeling guilty if I flirted with someone, accidentally or otherwise.  I could focus on me.  That last one sounds selfish, but if you don’t put at least a little bit of your focus on to yourself and what you want, why should anyone else care?

As a singleton, you don’t need to worry about doing your SSB (secret single behaviour).  There’s a whole episode of Sex and the City about SSB, but the long story short...

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